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From Winning it all to Last Place

Writer's picture: Shelby HaskellShelby Haskell

Have you put your heart and soul into something only to fall short? If so, you aren’t alone. The past few months I poured my all into preparing for a bikini competition. I was pushed farther than I have ever gone and teetered on the line to call it quits. Despite the results I walked away with a fresh perspective and a lesson well learned.




A little over a year and a half ago I experienced winning not only my pro card but winning the whole show. The high of winning was magical and was like nothing I have ever experienced. However, that high was short lived and I was quickly humbled when I started competing at a professional level. At the pro level the best of the best would show up, dialed in and ready to go.

I couldn’t help but feel like a small fish in a big pond.



In the last year I became frustrated with only placing in the top three. I kept feeling like the big girl on stage and I knew something had to change. I decided to swallow my pride, check my ego and hire a coach. Running a nutrition business and training people how to be healthy made me feel like I couldn’t ask for help, but I realized that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The best athletes in the world have coaches that keep them dialed in.





My coach had me lifting heavier, running faster, and pushing me to a level I have never gone to. I carefully counted calories, weighed out my food, tracked my work outs and followed the plan. I found my mind wondering if I even had what it took to compete at this level. I questioned myself if I still liked it. What I learned through the process about myself, made it all worth it.


When we preserver through hard things we get introduced to a new version of ourselves that we have never met. It’s like unlocking a new level in a video game. You discover talent and skills you never knew you had. What I learned most was that working out is an honor and a gift. I love that I can move my body, run fast, lift heavy and function on small amounts of food and be completely okay. I learned just how hard I should be training if I want to keep going. I also learned that the only person I am in competition with is myself.



The saying that the thief of joy is comparison, couldn’t be more accurate. When I showed up at my competition, I was thrilled with the package I was bringing on stage, I was lean but muscular and I saw definition I had never seen before. When I got to the show, I focused on myself instead of looking around. When it came time to find out the winners my number was called, only this time it was to receive the worst placement I have ever been given. I felt a wave of emotion come over me, but I made a choice.

 

I could choose to be angry, quit or even cry it out. Or I could choose to remember that my value doesn’t come from a placement. I could choose to be proud of the work I did, the package I brought and know that I experienced a new level that I have never gone before. That, my friend, is why I compete, to remind myself of just how capable I truly am, and to rediscover parts of me I never knew existed.



Don’t let the outcome take away from the joy of the process 😊 and remember finishing last is better than never starting.

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