Security, Control and Anxiety

Are you struggling to feel secure, do you have a desire to remain in control and when you can't, do you find yourself struggling with anxiety?

The need for security is a primal desire that stays deep inside of us, it is normal, healthy and understandable. However, when this desire is fueled by a desire to control, issues can arise. Security is the feeling and sense we have when we are safe from physical harm and threats. Whether we realize it or not, people tend to make decisions, hold back, take risks and avoid situations in order to feel safe and secure.

A few nights back I was laying in my bed trying to sleep, when I found myself tossing and turning. I never considered myself to be a person that struggled with anxiety. Sure, at times I felt a little anxious. When I had too much on my plate, or when I had a big event coming up, but don't we all feel that way? It took me taking an inventory of my thoughts, for me to realize how much anxiety I was truly having.

I knew in just a few short weeks I was going to be gracing the stage one more time in hopes of winning my pro card. I had several dreams where I, forgot to get my spray tan, missed taking my polygraph, and had my hair falling out This was the moment I realized this wasn't normal occasional anxiety that I was feeling.

I found when I would relax, my mind would wonder to the tasks I had to do and slowly but surely my peace would fade away. Worst case scenarios, what if thoughts and fear of the future was the culprit behind my anxiety. When you feel this way, what do you do to cope and how can you calm your anxiety so your mind and body can be at ease? If you are like me and most other people who experience anxiety, we try to put ourselves in situations that we can control.

Control gives us the false sense of security at least for a short period of time. What becomes detrimental is when we focus on things we can't control. However, when we focus on the things we can, this can lower our anxiety and help us feel secure. What helped me address my anxiety was exactly that.

I focused on what things were giving me the most stress and I did my part to address it. I made a list of all the things I needed to do to get myself ready for my show. I wrote out when all my appointment and took the extra time to prepare. Doing these small simple tasks allowed me to feel in control and lowered my anxiety.

Remember the only person you can control is you. What can you do for yourself to be set up for success? Sometimes the simplest tasks are the ones that lower your anxiety the most.